There is one very simple yet important rule that we should obey in order to improve our interactions with other people.
The client is always right
(Lets agree that from time to time we will use the 'client' term, that way it is easier for me, of course I don't mean only situations of selling.)
I requires a little clarification...
Does it mean that you have to answer in the affirmative or to nod in assent to everybody?
Does it require you to agree with event the most stupid (according to your standards) arguments?
Does it mean that you have to do what other people want?
Of course - not
What is it about then?
It's about noticing that while talking, the person is in a specific state.
I mean both perception (he/she sees, hears and feels), mood and beliefs about you, world and everything else.
To communicate effectively first you have to CONFIRM THE CURRENT STATE OF THE CLIENT.
You have to find something in common with him or anything that you can both agree to but if you can't agree let him know that you understand him not condemn.
If you want to guide someone o a specific place then:
- first meet him at his current place of staying,
- guide him over his map (more about it later)
I agree with you on 100% (but only on 1% with what you are saying).
So in each sentence you look for a small fraction that you can agree on 100%.
A: I am mad about you
B: Are you? You have to have some reasons for that
A: I am against abortion
B: I see, abortion is currently a real social problem, I am glad that you
are so committed to solving it.
A: Those shoes are cheap quality
B: So, you are not satisfied with the quality of our shoes, let's see what
we can do about it
A: This government does no good
B: It looks like you are very upset about the progress of government's
actions and you care about the good of our country
A: I think we should do that this way
B: I am so happy that you have may ideas and you are willing to solve that
problem
A: What a traffic! We will never reach home
B: Yes, cars are moving much more slowly that you would like them to
A: I love you
B: Hmmm, you say that you love me...
The rule is simple, look for positive sides, positive intentions, look for what's important to the people you talk to, consider what experiences they bring with them during conversation.
Remember that for your customer there's no one more important than himself, his opinions and beliefs.
The worst thing you can do is to deny your client's current experience. It causes immediate breaking of the rapport and sets both of you in the opposite corners of the ring.
Compare and make assumption...
A: I am mad about you
B: No way! I didn't do anything bad
A: I am against abortion
B: But I think that It is the woman's right to decide about her body
A: Those shoes are cheap quality
B: Impossible, we brought them from Germany
A: This government does no good
B: You only complain all the time
A: I think we should do that this way
B: But it has no common sense!
A: What a traffic! We will never reach home
B: It's not that bad, we've been stuck for 2 hours once
A: I love you B: Really?
You have to read a book by Marshall Rosenberg "Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Create Your Life, Your Relationships, and Your World in Harmony with Your Values"