But try not to think about it...
When we talk about persuasion three words seem to be particularly important due to its interesting properties and a magic action as some people claim. These are the words: no, but, try
I want to point out that it’s not only about this word, but negations in general.
The assumptions are as follow:
Unconscious mind does not understand negations
Do not think about the violet tiger.
Do not imagine what you will do tomorrow when you wake up.
Don’t think about your closest person and do not try to recall what his/her face look like.
Do not think about what is happening in the neighbouring room.
You surely agree with me that it is impossible not to think. First we have to create the picture in order to negate it. We want to make people generate this picture since at that time the suggestion is adopted.
Firstly, you shouldn’t treat it as magic. However, you have to learn in which situations the negation will be useful and in which it will sabotage your efforts.
- Do not imagine how good you will enjoy yourself there.
- I hope you don’t believe that the X company is using dishonest methods; it is just a rumour.
- Do not consider now which offer suits you most.
- Do not think that I want to cheat you.
- Do not pay attention to my bad breath.
- With us, you don’t have to worry about your life when you retire.
- Do not spoil this.
Let’s forget about all theories that you can't say ‘no’ to your client. You can successfully make use of this word if you understand its action. This action as I stated earlier is not magic. If you add the word ‘no’ to any instruction it doesn’t mean that it will be followed immediately. Children make the exception to this rule as they seem not to understand the meaning of the word ‘no’. In this case you should formulate every instruction in a positive way.
This technique gives best effect when it is used in suggestions connected with thinking such as: don’t think, do not imagine, do not assume and so on.
You surely happen to hear this kind of sentences:
In fact you are OK, but...
Your son is very intelligent, but lazy.
Your idea is quite good, but...
There is some ‘but’ in every of them.
And this ‘but’ leads to the nullifying of the first part of the sentence. It acts as an eraser which draws the attention only to the second part of the sentence.
Similar to the word ‘no’ it can be used in a proper or improper way.
It will be used in an improper way if you want to draw somebody’s attention to both issues but you ‘delete’ the first by the use of the word ‘but’
- I love you, but...
- It’s important for me, but...
In this situation it would be better if you link two parts of your statement with ‘and’ instead of separating it with ‘but’.
The word ‘but’ is used properly if you want to refute somebody’s arguments. At that time you dismiss them with one word ‘but’
How to do that without triggering the negative reaction of the recipient?
Firstly, you should confirm the current experience of the second person.
Secondly, there shouldn’t be the causality of the sentence that is after the word ‘but’ with the first part.
If someone makes an observation to you that according to him this price is too high you shouldn’t answer in this way:
- That's not true, the price is not as high as it seems you.
The correct answer is:
- Hmm, perhaps our price can’t be ranked among the lowest prices (the confirmation of customer’s experience), but (erasing) I would like to pay the attention to the exceptional quality of our products.
The use of the word ‘try’ is based on a simple observation that trying doesn’t mean the same as acting.
If you recommend someone to „ try to do something” you may expect that this person will follow your advice and will make a try.
As you may guess, this word also can be used in a proper and improper way.
When do you sabotage your efforts? When you say like this:
- Try to finish it till tomorrow.
- I have to try it finally; I have to make a try finally.
- Try to do it well.
This word may be also used to sabotage someone else’s actions, for example:
- Try to look over the offer of competitors.
- You can always try to invent something better.
And to enhance the action of word ‘no’:
- Try not to think about how wonderful you will feel when we finally reach the place.
- Try not to imagine your perfect holidays at the sea.
Remember that there is nothing magical in it. You can’t be sure that when you recommend somebody trying something you won’t succeed. It may introduce at the most hindrances which may lead to the failure.